I just had an experience lasting two weeks where things just did not work out easily or at all. Each day presented what felt to me like a setback or just something else I did not know how to deal with, fix or accept. Challenges that involved practical reality, like no hot water, long dusty and difficult roads to navigate, no electricity, a leaky roof, and things breaking all the time. I was confronted with problem solving that I was personally lacking in resources to fix. What happened to my picture perfect postcard life imagined. Why were things seemingly so hard and confusing to deal with, and why was I angry and disappointed? The people around me seem to resonate  completely differently from me and to match them and their energy took me out of resonance with myself and my experience. This turned out to be a much bigger problem then JRo was equipped to handle. Each day that passed I felt more lonely and isolated. The only part that I really enjoyed was the beautiful nature I was surrounded by, the deer that visited each day and the fifty or so turkeys with their chicks that passed by on their daily grazing. Unfortunately nature and a lot of meditating filled just a few hours of each long hot day. Only so much could be done to mediate a problem due to the circumstance of the remote location.

So my picture perfect postcard life had taken a turn for what seemed like the worst. I got mad, that didn’t help much. There was no one to get mad at except myself and all that did was make me feel depressed. I had to accept that my mental health is fragile and full of unresolved energy patterns that were clearly visible to me under stress. I knew I was in deep s_ _ _ and I was scared. So I started eating for comfort. Reading to pass time during the intense heat of the day. Taking cold showers from the hose to cool off. Talked to the deer and turkeys a lot. Did arts and crafts using stuff I found in the woods. Ran around naked and talked to the trees in the forest. I reviewed my life up until the moment I was in and contemplated how I was going to get myself out of the mess I currently was finding myself. I had lived my life carefree, never thinking much about the future and what old-age would be like to live through. I never considered settling down and taking a job on a regular basis. All I ever asked from life was to have fun, and I did, but now it wasn’t fun. It looked like I might run out of money, and I felt unprepared for the road ahead whatever that might turn out to be after I got myself out of this fine mess. I call this situation a mess because it was literally messy in the middle of the weeds with man made stuff that cluttered the landscape, but it really wasn’t energetically messy. I don’t mean to complain, but I wasn’t in the headspace to deal with this circumstance and changing my picture of what it was supposed to be was necessary.
My breakthrough came in the form of taking my fear and accepting that ugly truth and how it defined my experience now and perhaps most of my life, but without my ever being aware of that happening. Blissfully unaware, yet operating from fear and survival. This scared me even more and I thought perhaps I should die rather then run out of money and options. Well dying is not easy especially when you have a healthy body that you have taken care of most of your life by eating well and exercised regularly, and operating from moderation. So I had to tell the truth, first to myself and then to whomever the truth would have an effect upon.

My truth is I am a flawed creature, bombarded by unconsciousness that blasts my conscious present moment with false postcard images I believe to be the truth. I was abused for the first seventeen years of my life and I have been running ever since. Fear is my M.O. That’s it in a nutshell. These simple truths were coloring my entire experience and persisted in making my experience miserable to say the least. I was living to survive and dependent upon trading my talents for healing and enthusiasm for life, for a place to live and have an experience, that included usually being deeply intertwined into other peoples lives.

But I was born with the ability to see people as energy and I can see and tell their story. I can create change and I am good at what I do. So how was this going to help me with the situation I found myself in right now? I took my assets, kindness, compassion, being of service to healing and change, the ability to love myself and others, and knowing that I can meet my experience. I put my assets into my heart and continued to remember them throughout the day everyday, even when I didn’t feel like doing it, I did it, and allowed myself to trump fear whenever it showed up. I immediately stopped taking care of others and started taking care of me. By taking care of others, I distract myself from what I need to do and take the necessary, and oftentimes difficult responsibility, that comes with that action. I basically uncovered a lot of unconscious energy patterns and was able to consciously evolve in the moment for a higher frequency and ease. I received the messages from my experience and was with patience able to meet my experience in present time.

Things only slightly improved because now I was faced with just what is JRo going to do, including  a complete life change and responsibility to that course of action. I realized that what I had been doing up until this moment was filling time, filling time with things to do, doing. It was unconscious momentum and I never considered the consequences of my momentum until I found myself in an isolated, lonely situation, unfamiliar and faced with limited resources and possible failure. I was forced to face my truth and it was a way way bigger picture then I ever could have imagined. It looked nothing like the postcard images I referenced often in my unconscious application to my seemingly conscious day-to-day reality.

I packed my bag and left, not knowing where I was going, or what I was going to do with all the time I had allotted for this project, I now needed to get as far away from it as possible. I ran, something I know how to do very well, but this time I ran with my heart open. My current experience on this planet is to read energy and to witness people healing/change. Fixing broken hot water heaters and leaky roofs I can do. Situated in remote isolated locations with no electricity and inconvenient ‘four wheel drive required’ long dirt roads, I can do for short periods of time, but this is not my healing. My healing was to face fear, again, better equipped due to my years of service to reading and witnessing healing in other people, as well as, myself. This work prepped me for the hard truth I had to face alone in the woods. The truth is I could no longer avoid my destiny and be  distracted by “helping” others. I had to honor my unconsciousness because it got me this far, but I no longer could be driven by the momentum of unconscious energy flooding into my space and compromising my evolving consciousness.

I had to heal my flow so I can do my job more efficiently and use this precious time I have to reach out to others, making myself available online, on the phone, or in person to read people’s energy and provide the healing and change requested by so many at this time. Wasting or misdirecting your time on situations, jobs, relationships, agreement, unconscious behavior, is perhaps the biggest blunder you can make on your path to fulfilling your purpose in the experience.

If you don’t know your purpose or are questioning what to do with your life, and how to meet the experience you are asking important questions. Find out what you are here for and why. This is one of the biggest questions I get asked by people in readings. It is my job to answer questions like this and any questions you might have about your body, your life, or the situations you find yourself existing in at this time. I just learned valuable information about myself that I can now put into action. What may seem like a total bummer is most often the opportunity to change and heal.